I Will Follow You Into Hell - I Will Protect You With My Life
by NatalieVale
Summary: Lieutenant Hawkeye has sworn to protect Roy Mustang, no matter the cost. However, her next mission will require her to give up so much more than either of them are willing to sacrifice. Rated M for sexual content (more implied than anything), language, and some very racy business.
1. A Leave of Absense

As much as I act like the Lieutenant in my day to day life, sadly neither she nor any of the FMA characters are mine. Enjoy.

* * *

 _Thump._

Colonel Roy Mustang sighed gently, not looking up. His First Lieutenant had just added a ton of paperwork to his already unruly stack. He mumbled his sarcastic 'thanks' as he continued the one he was working on.

The blonde cleared her throat nervously. This caused his charcoal eyes to meet her mahogany ones.

"Yes, Hawkeye?"

Riza shifted a little before straightening herself, "Sir, a request for absence is on the top of that stack. If I could get your approval…"

Mustang looked at her with genuine surprise. Quickly, he snatched the paper off the pile to begin reading it over. "You are taking a vacation? Wow. It's about time you had fun… Lieu… Ten… Ant…" He stared at the form, completely at a loss of words.

"As you see, I have asked off with adequate time before hand. I have a statement saying that it is needed. If you could ju-"

"Maternity leave?" Her superior officer's voice jumped an octave at the words.

Riza sucked in a breath before reaching to shut the door, but not without seeing the staring eyes of the rest of his crew. "Sir. I would rather not go into this."

Black hair shook with his head as he tried to process this. He finally looked up to her again, somewhere between hurt and confused. "Lieutenant… Why did you not tell me?"

"There was no need until now," she stated matter-of-factly.

"How far along are you?"

"I am just shy of six months. As you can see, I am taking the las-"

He arose, watching her with those betrayed eyes, "Who is the father?"

This caused Riza to hesitate, looking down after a moment of silence to avoid his eyes. She could hear his heavy footfalls approach her and when she looked up again, he was only a few feet away.

"Who, Riza?" he practically whispered.

Tears welled up in her dark eyes, she shook her head as her only sign of protest.

Roy's face changed dramatically, going from pained to steel. He stayed quiet when he spoke, "Were you ever going to tell me?"

"You have a goal, Sir. You needn't worry about my personal life."

He shook his head before reaching out to gently touch her cheek, causing the tears she held back to fall. For a long moment, all he did was stare at her with his hardened expression.

"You know I can't just ignore the fact this might be-"

With a frustrated noise, she pushed his hand away, "It was a night I went alone to the bar, Sir. Now, please, just sign the request so I can turn it in."

They watched each other in tense silence for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Roy nodded.

"As you wish, Lieutenant."

* * *

So, this has been bouncing around in my head for the last few days. Sorry it's so short. I plan on adding onto it as more bits come in AND I actually want to turn it into a multichapter work. Please review and stuff if you like it or if you would want to see the story progress. Much love as always. 3


	2. Questions Left Unanswered

Wow! 3 reviews in 12 hours after posting! I don't know what to say. Thank you for every favorite, follow, and review. You guys are wonderful. Without further ado, here is the next chapter. It's a little more of an informative chapter and I promise the next one will be more meaty!

Again, I do not own any of these characters. I just cosplay them and put them in terrible situations.

* * *

He just let her walk out. He watched the door slam and listened to the concerned voices muffled by the heavy oak. He knew he should follow her, get her to talk to him, get her to understand everything. However, his body did not want to agree with his mind.

Dark eyes went back to his unfinished report. Something about military stepping in and helping with a small town's irrigation system. He squinted at the paper, trying to focus.

' _She's pregnant.'_

He shook his head, frowning, like it would take the angry buzzing words away.

'The drought has caused considerable crop damage, as well as -'

' _She's carrying your child.'_

' - will lead to more food for both civilians and military serving in the port - '

' _And you just let her walk away.'_

With a sigh, he tossed aside the paperwork. All he wanted to do was just snap his fingers and watch it all go up in smoke. It seemed like it never ended and now he had so much more on his plate.

' _Why does any of this matter? Who cares about what she does in her free time? So what if she's pregnant? It's not like she'd include me anyways,'_ he thought to himself bitterly. He glared at the pile of reports as if it had gotten him into this predicament.

None of it seemed important. Nothing seemed important.

That was, except who Riza Hawkeye's unborn bastard _really_ belonged to.

XXXXXXX

It took everything in her not to just start sobbing when she saw the hurt in her dear friend's eyes. She knew it was for the best that she lied to him. They could both very well be court martialed because of such a revelation. But, even knowing this, she wanted to seek solace in his embrace again. She wanted to take back the months of pain they both had suffered through.

Why had she let him sweet talk her all those months ago? Was it the wine he kept pouring? Or was it those deep never ending pools of inky black that watched her like no other woman existed? Her mind tried to make sense of it as she retreated out of the Central Command building.

It was inevitable, honestly. They were so close. They had known each other for years before she was assigned under him. They had fought the same enemies, including each other. It was only a matter of time before her guilty crush blossomed into love. For two years, she hid that secret, staying close and not sharing it with the one man she told everything.

The wine had helped with the coaxing of the truth, she decided. She never quite had the head for drinking. Part of her was angry at that damnable Colonel. She said all of her secret wants that involved him. How she wanted to be his, retire, go to some tiny town, and raise a family with him. Once the words started, she couldn't dam them back in. The floodgates were open and he learned every deep, dark, secret fantasy she had.

Over the next year, they steadily worked through balancing an affair, hiding it from their closest friends and coworkers, and having to work in such close proximity every day. She didn't know how they had done it, but they managed. Until she started getting sick. Somehow she knew. She refused to believe it, though. He had offered to go with her, but she quickly shot him down. Appearances had to be maintained and he couldn't afford to be caught with her. She was utterly alone when the doctor had told her, had let her hear the tiny, yet strong, heartbeat. She wouldn't abort, regardless if it was the best option. She couldn't.

When he had asked, Riza merely responded that she had the flu and that she needed to stay home for a few days. It was during that time she plotted how she was going to break things off with him. A month passed before she finally had the courage. It had been the hardest thing she had ever done. But, he took it with a grain of salt and let her have her space.

For the following months, her heart waged war with her logic. No one was safe to confide in. It was her heavy burden and she bore it in silence. She nearly told him multiple times, but ultimately was able to keep it underwraps. The doctor, however, insisted that she take a few months off, to prepare for the hard labor of giving birth. It was for the best. She didn't need anyone seeing her like that. She would be more of a hindrance than anything if she was ever needed in the field. She had decided that a leave would be better than staying as a glorified secretary. If anything, it was at least more dignified.

All the while, she couldn't help but worry about what her irrational Colonel would do without her.

* * *

At least this one was a little longer! I promise I am working on the next chapter now. Hopefully it will be up tomorrow or early on Monday. Please review, follow, and favorite! Thank you all.


	3. Rumor Has It

Had to take the latest two chapters and repost them. Here they are again!

* * *

"Lieutenant, thank you for meeting me," the Fuhrer King Bradley stated, motioning the saluting woman to sit across from him. "I was hoping that you would be willing to answer a few questions about your leave."

Riza nodded slightly, "Yes, Sir. I enclosed a copy of the note explaining why I need to take the last trimester off. Or was there something else that you needed to know?" There was a nod as his one good eye focused on her face. He leaned forward and gently rested his elbows on the desk he sat behind.

"Well, you see, there are a lot of rumors floating around since you revealed you were with child last week. No one seems to know who the father is. Would you care to enlighten me?"

"S-s-sir," she began nervously. "I… would be lying if I said I knew. There was a dark haired civilian whom I… allowed… to take advantage of me drinking on my day off."

This made the King Bradley's eyebrows raise with disbelief, "Lieutenant, I would have expected better of you. Are you sure you do not know?"

Riza nodded before looking down at the scrutinous gaze, "I am sure. I don't remember what his name was."

"And we are sure it isn't Colonel Mustang's child?"

She froze, wide eyes going straight to the Fuhrer's singular one. Her jaw dropped in a look of surprise. It took a few seconds before she recovered. "Sir, that is… preposterous. I am his subordinate and we both know what any fraternization would lead to."

He watched her, his eye narrowed as he looked over her face for any signs of lying. "You two have known each other for much longer than the military has been in your lives. I know that you two are close and people like to talk…"

"No, Sir. People like to create rumors to explain why they are nosy. There is nothing between Colonel Mustang and I other than a friendship and my loyalty as his subordinate. Please, do not read into the talk of anyone other than he and I."

The gaze remained for a moment longer. She felt as if her very soul was being peered into. After what seemed to be an eternity, the Fuhrer leaned back into his chair and immediately smiled.

"Well, good. I would have hated to try you in your current state. Now, what are your plans once the baby is born? Will you be keeping it or will you be putting it up for adoption?"

Riza sighed at this, "I… honestly have made the decision that I should give him or her to a loving family. I cannot provide them with the love and attention they need while continuing my career in the military. I have been visiting with a few couples but I haven't found one that I care for yet."

This settled in the room for a few moments before he nodded again, "So you plan on staying with us here in Central?"

"Yes, Sir. I couldn't leave. I feel my purpose here is not yet complete."

"Very well," the Fuhrer said, watching her closely. "We would be most happy to keep you in your current position once you are ready to return, of course. I would, however, like to see you every two weeks until then. Just for tea and to make sure that you aren't too out of place when you return. Do you find that fair?"

Riza stared at him for a moment before quickly nodding, "Of course, Sir. Yes. I will be here."

"Good. You are dismissed, Lieutenant. have a safe time away."

* * *

Another short one. Sorry. I promise the next one I post (which might be in two days) will be at least a thousand words! I am going to get around to Roy confronting Riza about everything. Don't you worry! Review, follow, and favorite and I will be your best friend!


	4. Filling the Void

Sorry it's been a couple of days, guys! Here's the next chapter and it is a lot longer, just like I promised! Enjoy.

* * *

It had been a month. A whole month. Riza hadn't bothered to come see him. She was having tea with the Fuhrer and even lunch with Havoc, but she didn't have time (or didn't want to) come see him. Whereas he should have been angry in the situation, all he wanted to do was drink until the empty hole was filled. It was what he had been doing for the last two weeks, and it was what he fully intended to do tonight. There had been pretty girls, mostly pretty blondes, who had been enjoying his debauchery and gladly took the drinks he offered. Almost all of them were willing to come back to his place and allow him to satisfy his most carnal desires, especially after they were drunk enough to be incapable of walking properly. With each hangover and new one-night stand, the emptiness inside of him grew. It ate away at everything until he felt sick. He just wanted to find the one to make it better.

Another pretty woman sat by his side, dark eyes and luscious blonde hair that he just wanted to bury his face into. Drinks were shared and there was much flirting. But it wasn't enough to fill the void.

"Say, Veronica…"

The woman giggled drunkenly, barely having two of her fruity drinks before she was hammered. Fingers found their way to his thigh. "It's Monica, Roy. Monica."

He smiled halfheartedly before brushing her hand away, "Look, _Monica_. This has been fun, but I think you've had just a little too much."

"I haven't had enough, yet. At least, not enough of you." The expression she was going for was sensual. Instead, she looked like a Xingese cannibal who just found her next meal.

He sighed at this, "I'm sorry. This just isn't gonna work out. You get home safe, okay?"

She frowned now, pouting a little, "What are you, gay? Any sane straight man would take me home and have his way with me."

"No, I'm not. I just can't do this tonight. Maybe next time…" He stood up to retreat to the bar.

Monica glared at him, "I hope it falls off!"

Roy didn't look back. He sat down and ordered a whiskey to wash down the two he had with lackluster company and this bubbling feeling of sadness. Alcohol was the perfect cure for thinking of the one woman he knew would make him feel whole again. However, after the sixth or seventh, all he could think about was her sad eyes, wheat hair, and sweet voice. A few more went down the same as he tried to drink her away.

"Chief, you might wanna slow down there," Havoc commented, returning from a cute brunette that he had been dancing with. He ordered two drinks and watched the Colonel waringly.

Mustang merely gave him what was supposed to be a glare. It turned out more of a pout. "I am fine, Jean."

Havoc gave him a look of sympathy before patting his back, "Look, she misses you too. But, you know how women get."

The Colonel shook his head, "She's not just any woman and you know that. She's…" He trailed off, watching some spot on the wall with a dazed expression. He couldn't say it. Not in the current company. Havoc only knew that the two hadn't been speaking. He didn't know about Roy's worries and insecurities when it came to his first lieutenant. He didn't know about their relationship. Or know about how much he just wanted to kiss her again.

The blonde man became nervous, "Boss, I'd rather you didn't throw up out here."

Mustang just shook his head again before getting up. He took money out of his wallet, setting his empty glass on top of it. Still looking slightly lost, he wandered away. Havoc watched him for a moment, debating on following. That was, until his drinks were set in front of him. He glanced back at the pretty girl who had been with him most of the night and decided that Colonel Roy Mustang, Hero of the Ishvalan War, was more than capable of getting himself home while he was plastered.

XXXXXXXXXXX

He didn't remember why his feet had brought him here. Nor did he understand why they marched him up the stairs and put him directly in front of her little shabby door. He knew it was late. He knew that he shouldn't have ever came here without asking her. He also knew that she would be more likely to shoot him than talk to him given his current state. But, even in being wise to all of this, he still brought his hand up and knocked on her door at some ungodly morning hour.

Seconds ticked on. Mustang was acutely aware that his heart was pounding and his palms were sweaty. He didn't know what it was, but this woman made him extremely nervous. A minute came and went, then two. He sighed before turning to walk away. He didn't even make it a few steps before he heard the lock click and the quiet whoosh of the door sliding onto carpet. He spun around to see a sleepy faced Lieutenant looking at him with such confusion.

"Sir…? What are you doing here at 3 a.m.?"

Relief flooded his face and he managed to get a halfway acceptable smile before he promptly threw up in her apartment building's hallway. Riza sighed heavily before pushing open the door all the way. She stepped out in her nightgown in order to help him inside as quickly as her growing belly would let her. Mumbling her frustrations, she managed to push him onto the couch before waddling back to retrieve a towel to clean up the mess.

Roy did not protest. He suddenly felt tired and wanted nothing more than to fall asleep here in the place that felt like home. Perhaps he would have if a rather large puppy hadn't decided that he needed to give his friend slobbery affections.

"Ugh, Hayate, get down! I missed you too. Now get off me!"

Riza came back inside to this, frowning slightly, "He's preparing to eat you. Good boy, Hayate."

The dog looked up at his owner with a happy expression and wagged his tail wildly.

Roy groaned before pushing Black Hayate off of the couch so he could sit up, "I didn't do enough to deserve that."

"Depends on who you ask," the blonde woman mumbled before going to toss the towel into the bathroom down the hall.

He watched her walk away, saddened by her choice of words. Hayate nudged his hand gently and Roy obliged with pets. He turned his attention to the face of Riza's most beloved companion and sighed.

"How do you always get out of trouble? Teach me, oh smart dog…"

"First off, he doesn't show up at my door at three in the morning and then vomit on my doorstep. Second, he's cuter than you."

He hadn't heard her come in, but he didn't glance at her now. Roy felt sick, but he didn't feel nearly as drunk as when he showed up. Apparently, he needed the literal spilling of his guts to figure out he wanted to figuratively do the same. There was a long pause of silence before Roy spoke quietly, "I wanted to see you… You were avoiding me…"

"So you decided to get drunk and wake me up, just because you think I have been avoiding you?" When he didn't reply, Riza frowned. "I've been busy making arrangements and dealing with a lot of things. Not avoiding, just busy."

"Then tell me why you have had time to go get lunch with Havoc?"

This caused the woman to pause and stare at her ex-lover with surprise. "Are you jealous of Jean? He was helping me find a family in his hometown to take the baby. Someone that he knows well and who would love this child and give it the attention it deserves, Roy. I'm not capable of that right now. I have a mission to finish and devoting all of my time to you is a priority. I said I would follow you, no matter what. This is no matter what."

"This is a kid, Riza! Aren't you supposed to love this child unconditionally, care for them, be there when they need you? How is leaving him with strangers even an option?" There was anger and hurt in his voice as he protested.

"You aren't the one who has to live with it, Sir. This is my child and my choice. You don't have a say so."

"What if it IS my choice too? Logically, there is a good chance, Riza." Riza looked away. Roy couldn't determine if it was shame or sorrow that crossed her face now. He didn't understand why it would be shame. Unless… Then it clicked. He swallowed hard. When he spoke again, his voice was hoarse and quiet. "It is, isn't it?"

Her silence was enough damning evidence to confirm his suspicions.

* * *

Well, there's that. I told you guys that I would be doing the confrontation soon! Review and favorite or follow for more goodies. I already have the next chapter started and *maybe* half of the way done. I'll try and finish it up tomorrow and post it before bedtime! You guys are wonderful. Thank you as always!


	5. What is Left Unsaid

I am so sorry, guys. There was a lot of stuff that happened, from losing a computer, to moving states, to working several jobs at once, and so much more. I had to actually rewrite this entire chapter. I don't even remember what it was going to be originally, but enjoy. So, after just over a year, here is the next chapter.

-Also, felt the need to go ahead and add what I wrote shortly after, because it wrapped up so nicely as a very short thing. The last few paragraphs are... Sort of hot and heavy, but not really. So, there's that warning.

* * *

Roy stared at Riza. Riza stared at the floor. It took several minutes of heavy silence before she spoke in a whisper. "Sir, you should go home. It is inappropriate for you to be here so late."

Shakily, he rose to his feet. Regardless of his mind not feeling the affects of alcohol, his body protested with a dizzy spell and he sat back down. Dark eyes watched her face as she avoided looking at him. "Riza, please come here… We need to talk about this. It isn't just going to go away."

She shook her head in a violent protest, "I've made up my mind. Your goal is more important right now than a bastard child with your subordinate. You cannot change this, Roy. I'm sorry."

"Lieutenant, come sit down before I drag you over here and force you to."

Riza hesitated, debating on whether or not he would actually do it. In his intoxicated state, she decided that it was safer to just do as he asked of her. Her bare feet padded quietly over the carpet as she made her way over. She mumbled something to Black Hayate and he retreated to the kitchen, where the sounds of him eating could be heard a moment later. The two humans stared at each other from the closer distance for a moment before she sat down on the opposite end of the couch.

"Good," Roy stated softly, just taking in her face. "I miss you. So much, Riza. You don't know how much this has been killing me."

The blonde shook her head gently, "I am trying to protect you. Please understand that and go home…" Her attention went to her lap, where her hands cradled her growing stomach. "I am the only one who has to take the fall for this."

"But, I want to be here for you."

"And even though I want you here, you and I have other things to be concerned with. I need you to just let this go. It will be better for everyone if this child go lives with a different family." Roy gave her a look that said he wanted to protest, but she cut him off with a glare. "There is nothing you can do. The family is coming up next week to go to dinner with me. We will go from there about the adoption. If you so much as breathe in their direction to steer them away from this, I will shoot you, Sir. And that's a promise."

He sighed, averting his dark eyes away from her hostile ones, "I wouldn't do that to you. If you aren't ready for a child, I guess you have more right to tell me to butt out and you can do what you need to…" He felt her relax slightly and he chanced a look. It was almost amazing, the difference in her body language.

She was leaned back, her shoulders finally making full contact with the couch. A hand gently rested on her stomach. The bump was much more prominent now, especially without the bulky uniform in the way. Her eyes were closed and she seemed nearly comfortable. Roy reached out to take her free hand.

"Let me help. You staying away is drawing more attention to our relationship, you know?"

Deep brown eyes met his and then darted away, "Lie. Tell them you have dinner with me or that you are helping me stay up-to-date with affairs. It's why I meet with the Fuhrer. It wouldn't be unbelievable."

Roy frowned at this, letting go of her hand, "You'd rather me lie than come see you?"

"Right now? Yes, I would. You are not going to try and influence me. My gut is telling me that you will pull something to get your hands on this kid. We both know that can't happen, Roy."

"Riza, do you have no faith in me? I told you that I wouldn't. I just want to be able to be here for you. You can't do this on your own."

The blonde raised her eyebrow, "Can't? Did you really think that is a wise choice of words?"

"Fine. Shouldn't. Is that better?"

Riza watched him for a moment before her lips crashed against his as an answer. Roy had to fight back the smirk as he gratefully kissed her back.

 **XXXXXXX**

Riza lost track of the time. It always happened when the love of her life took hours to reacquaint himself with every inch of her. Of course, it didn't help that she had fantasized every agonizing second of this kind of reunion. From the feeling of his hands slowly exploring her motherly curves to the passionate and adoring kisses they shared, it took her breath away.

Roy hadn't wasted time after the first kiss to find his way with her to the dark of her room. There, he cradled her face with a hand while the other found a way to bring their bodies closer. She didn't once protest as he worked her out of her nightgown and himself out of his blues he worked in. They stood huddled together, reintroducing themselves to the intimate reaches of each other's mouths for an untold amount of time, relishing in the closeness. She could feel how much the time apart had weighed on him as they kissed, and regretted every second she spent away. She was determined to make up for lost time. She was the one to tug him towards her bed, breaking the kiss only long enough for them to lay back. They cuddled close as Roy quickly returned to her lips. So much left unsaid, but understood, they began again the affair. He moved within her and she gasped with pleasure. They would rest without words while their breathing returned to normal and the kisses would start again before long. For hours, this went on until finally they had nothing left to give.

There the daylight found them, huddled and spent. Riza laid her head against Roy's chest gently, smiling quietly to herself. A tired but content sigh came from under her. This caused the woman to smile more, though she shifted to keep him from noticing.

"I missed you," he whispered softly.

"Not nearly as much as I missed you," was her quiet reply.

* * *

So, nearly worth the wait? I am about to try and work on the next chapter. It should be up within 24 hours, if everything turns out right. But, the good news is I am back in the business of torturing everyone's favorite FMA couple! Please review, favorite, and the like to let me know people are still looking forward to the exciting conclusion of this story.


End file.
